December 4-5, 1992: John A. Desteian

Lecture and Workshop: The needs for attachment and autonomy are as natural to our psychic life as the need for food and water is to our physical life. And yet, the recent plethora of writings about co-dependency frightens a confused reading public who wonder if they are doing it “right” in their relationships. Simple human yearnings have become labeled disease, while estrangement and alienation have become normalized when called “detachment”. Relationship boundaries advocated by authors of co-dependency books tell us where we leave off and the other person begins. But they cannot begin to tell us where we meet-where we are one. 

This lecture, and the seminar that follows, will look at what the experts call “hostile-dependent” relationships from the perspective of depth psychology, and at how the individual develops in these marriages. 


John A. Desteian, J.D. is a Diplomate Jungian Analyst, Licensed Consulting Psychologist, and the author of Coming Together-Coming Apart: The Union of Opposites in Love Relationships (1990). He is in private practice in St. Paul, Minnesota. 

Boundaries of the Marital Soul: Seeking attachment and Autonomy in a Relationship